Job adverts are depressing!

As an artist earning money can be difficult and for the last few years I have managed to get work on a flexible basis. Now that I had to move to a different city, I had to look for a new job where I live now. I thought it would be easier to find a job here in Manchester, but so far it has be surprisingly difficult. I thought I have loads of different experience that would make it relatively easy, relatively that is. No, I didn't even got invited for an interview for jobs of which I thought I ticked all the boxes and I am now wondering why.
Could it be that I am AGAIN battling the same prejudice as a jobseeker as I am battling as an artist? As an artist I have a strong feeling that there are a bunch of pretentious curators out there that are lacking self confidence and therefor don't dare to select non-art-background artists for their exhibitions. Could also be pure jealousy that I manage to make good stuff without going through the system for 3 or 4 years. Then again, once I have found a curator that doesn't select artists on that bases, my background is actually an interesting asset.

With jobs it is the same and different. Again, my background consisting of several very different, but solid, jobs in which I have done well. I am now wondering if the diversity on my CV confuses potential employers. But to be honest, if you have any knowledge you would see I have a wide range of skills and serious about what I do.
I have applied for very basic jobs in administration and wasn't even invited. If they would read my CV well, they could see that I can actually create an administration and not just maintaining it! They could also tell that I am not this pain-in-the-arse-smart-guy that will question everything; my CV also contains basic jobs in which I have done well.
Knowing I can do loads of jobs, I read these adverts for basic jobs where it sometimes seems they are looking for a CEO or Superman. I wonder how people would respond in an interview to a question like this: 'Do you have a passion for administration'? Passion? Passion? There might be a few autistic people out there that would describe it as a passion, but don't you mean 'like'? 'Do you thrive in a target driven environment?' You mean scoring points by harassing people on the phone? No thanks.
If I get a job I am not passionate about, but like and if the job has targets, I'll probably do well anyway. I am a hard working individual and my base mentality towards work is better than average. Did I say I am self confident? Seems to be clear that I am also quite independent..... Anyway, this is the crap I daily read when looking for a job:

Customer Service Door Executive

This is an exciting opportunity with a company going from strength to strength. We make recession busting products and are leader in our field. We are now looking for a Door Mat to compliment our dynamic team of professional Door Mats!

Role:

We are looking for strong driven independent talents with a passion for receiving the interesting bottom side of someones else’s footwear. This is a hospitality role and therefor you need to have proven track record in customer service, preferable in the same field. You also need to have a minimum of 3 years experience in a similar role. You should also be able to maximize sales opportunities and increase brand awareness.

Skills:

-       - You must be fluent in Door Mattery and English

-       - Able to do draw attention to yourself so our customers don’t bring in dirt in our marvelous clean state of the art shops

-      -  Excellent communication skills

-      -  Outstanding presentation skills

-      -  Be able to express the word ‘Welcome’ like no other

-       - Be able to clean all types of footwear

Do you thrive on targets? Do you have a strong mentality towards customer service? Do you have a passion for laying on your back 24/7 getting covered in other peoples crap? Does this sound like you? Then we might be looking for you!